Sheba
THE SORROW OF LOSING A PET
It has been said that the most difficult loss is the loss of one’s child. While I am sure that is true, the question of which loss of life is the most painful to endure is really not a contest. Many years ago, a patient of mine, whose husband of 52 years had recently died, exclaimed that her loss was the most painful process she had ever endured and that nothing could be quite as painful. The loss of someone you love cannot be measured in degrees of pain parameters. It is equally true even when that loss is a pet and not a person.
Recently, my wife Julie and I lost our 8 1/2 year old dog, Sheba, in a tragic accident and we are still grieving. I am a little surprised at the intensity of our grief. Perhaps I should not be so surprised. Sheba, at times seemed human- like in understanding my moods and needs. Displaying unconditional love, she brought us immeasurable joy and happiness. We missed her when we were away from home and often had trouble leaving her with others on our many trips out of town. Each time we left the house, Sheba had that look on her face that said, “Please take me with you”. Seeing her run towards me when I returned home, tail wagging, head down eager to accept my affection, Sheba taught us the simple aspects of love. Her loss has created emptiness in our life.
Seventy million Americans have household pets, with the majority considering their animal to be a member of the family. With my three children grown and living in other cities, Sheba did become a member of my family. She joined Julie and me at dinner, took numerous walks with us in the neighborhood and lay at the foot of our bed as we slept.
Word of Sheba’s death seemed to travel almost as fast as when my parents died. Sheba may have only been a dog, yet her untimely death stimulated an amazing amount of caring and support that I did not expect. Julie and I were both surprised and overwhelmed by the outpouring of sympathy from colleagues and friends. We received dozens of condolence cards, emails and phone calls from friends around the country, as well as, flowers and donations in Sheba’s memory to the Nashville Humane Society.
As I learned, there are large numbers of pet lovers who understand the tremendous effect pets have on our lives and how much love they can bring us. But we also know when we bring a pet into our life, such as a dog or cat that we are choosing to bring into our lives and hearts a life that more than likely will end long before our own. Yet, we accept this fact knowing that the pleasure brought to us during the years our pets live is well worth the pain that follows when that life ends.
Statistically pets have been shown to bring incredible comfort to the elderly in nursing homes and senior housing. Pets can also bring comfort during times of grief and sadness. The love that pets bring can stimulate even the most cynical and injured heart. Though not human, they bring out our own humanity in ways that people often simply cannot.
Some day maybe we will own another dog, although I seriously doubt that we will. Sheba was the most loving and smartest dog I ever owned. She could never be replaced. Dog and cat lovers know what I mean when I say that the relationship between human and animal transcends almost any other. When I was alone with Sheba, I was not alone. I was with my best friend, my confidant and ally. She helped create a feeling of completeness and contentment as we took our many walks and rides around the city. She is missed in ways that remind me of others I have lost during my life.
The loss of a child has to be the most intensely painful, with the loss of a spouse, parent, family member or dear friend equally high on that list. However, the loss of a pet still ranks high enough to cause significant pain and anguish. That says something about the special relationship between humans and their pets.
Nashville, Tennessee
USA |
